Today was the day that Emily and I had chosen for our birthday outing, and even though half the things we planned didn't happen, we had such a special day. In spite of the memory of last night's tantrum-filled debate.
It upset me so much that I actually wanted to call off our plans - or the ones I could. She had so much going on today that she had had to schedule me into her day, and I tried giving her an out, but I think we both needed that lunch.
My first stop was a mammogram at 9:30. I have to go back every six months for a suspicious teeny calcium thing seen vaguely on the films. I'm not complaining for sure. I told the tech that I was thankful for it all just to leave there with peace of mind. I also told her I was on the verge of a panic attack though. So many things. I felt like I might burst out crying if things didn't go just the way they should. She said, "I saw that travesty last night too."
I got the last parking spot at the hospital and then had to walk in those doors. It's a beautiful hospital, but it's also the one that has so many sad memories for us, the first one.
Our first visit there, we noticed a huge fire in a fireplace and a grand piano being played in the foyer. Beautiful shops and beautiful architecture and a Starbucks right inside the door. We went up those open stairs with so much excitement because we were going to see our Baby Gray for the first time. That's a memory I'll never forget.
All the beauty in the world can't hide the sadness that I see in some person almost every time I visit there. It's a hospital, after all. Maybe I'm looking for it, looking for the mirror of how we felt that fall four years ago. I was sure if I had seen just the wrong sadness, I would have lost it. But I didn't.
Things were a little different as far as checking in and all the details, but Jackie the tech was sweet and patient. After the x-rays, I had to wait in the exam room for what was only a few minutes, but it seemed like 20! I read all the things on the walls and paced and got some more hand sanitizer and looked at the time and paced a little more, and then I got to hear the words, "You're fine! Just one more 6-month visit, and you're cleared for once a year."
I realized I hadn't been worried about bad news especially but thinking anything out of the ordinary might have sent me over the edge. I'm going to have to get some little purple pills or something for days like this.
As I went out the back door, I saw our favorite shopping place. Lily and Pearl, I think the name is. Emily and I go in there needing nothing, and all of a sudden we think we need to go home with something or buy something for someone else. It's that kind of store.
But not today.
I went from there to Target, skipping the quilting store for today. I got in there and wondered why I was there. I knew I probably needed to stock up on household stuff, so I put some stuff in the cart and then went and got a couple of grocery things. The only thing I bought that I enjoyed was some cute Halloween stickers for the girls. And then I was done. Out of there!
I met Emily in her parking lot. I forgot I was supposed to call her when I got there, so we lost 5 minutes of our appointment. We talked about where to eat and ended up going to one that was closed and then finding Agave Cocina open. It was very nice and different, not your usual Mexican restaurant. Emily got a salad with lots of good stuff in it. I don't remember the details. I think mine was wild mushroom and spinach quesadillas. I got her to share one of them and then ate the rest!
We did have a happy lunch, talking only about happy things - and maybe some outrageous things - and laughing a lot. When we got up to go with not too much time left for HomeGoods, she mentioned going to the bathroom, but she didn't want to go in the restaurant one, and I said, "Do you just want go back to work?" Both of us jumped on that. HomeGoods can wait. It's a place for wandering, not rushing in and out of. We enjoyed the heck out of our beautiful day, and now we have plans to take the girls back one weekend and redo the day - most of it anyway.
I was feeling so good by that time that I took the interstate home. I just don't like fast driving, but there were very few cars out, and I remembered that I used to be a pretty good driver before I started being scared of things. I had to laugh at our conversation about roundabouts. I hate them, but I didn't realize Emily did too. I don't mind the ones I go through a lot, but new ones make me nervous, afraid I'm not going to understand the flow of traffic. I had two of them on the detour on the way.
She just seems to drive without any hesitation, but I found out today that she doesn't go to Target much because of the new roundabout. I think she was half kidding, but that is one that no one seems to know how to navigate. After a few times of it, I found a side entrance on the opposite side and told her about it. My good deed for the day. If you want to know short cuts and ways of keeping out of traffic, just ask me. I'll go 10 miles extra to avoid an interstate!
It was good to be home, and the cats were thrilled to see me. I guess. In their way. Looking up from their naps and blinking and going back to sleep, if that's excitement. I joined them in a nap and called it a good day.
I'm going to avoid reading too much opinion about the debates. I'm just worried that there are people who are praising Trump for his performance, and I know there are. Those who don't care what he stands for, his racism and bullying. His lack of leadership. His narcissism. The mammo tech was talking about the debate and said, "I don't like either one of them." You don't have to like either candidate. You just have to try to save this country from further harm. There's one I know something about and one I know too much about. I don't worship the first and find it strange that people worship the latter. I'll choose the one who will try and lead us with some dignity, and I know enough to know which one that is.
NOT ruining my night, and I seem to be good for several more hours! I finished the girls' aprons this morning and have them ready for them.
Graysen's second Mimi Time is Friday afternoon, and I have to find something for us to do. I might be brave enough to go back to Issaquah tomorrow and look for some pillowcase fabric, maybe Halloween.
I forgot about Katherine's day Monday. She's so easy. She comes in looking around, just trying to remember how it used to be, and she knows exactly where I keep the snacks. She's okay with a cookie and ABC Mouse for a while. I caught my sheet-washing evidence too. Everything! All of it! And pillows on the balcony to sun.
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