Elise and I keep going back and forth about how much longer we need to let Stella go on the way she is. The vet didn't call me back today with her test results, and when I called there around 1:00, the guy at the desk got her chart and sympathized and said he would give it to one of the other doctors since her doctor wasn't there today. So no call all day. Elise went to work at 3, and I was working and forgot about the time.
I know I could call an emergency number, but I don't want it to be that way. I really want her to get better, but I also don't want to keep experimenting on her. With Nadine, Lili and Maddie, I knew when they were not able to live, but with Stella, it's not that clear. I have all this guilt that maybe we should keep trying more things. She's too weak to jump up on a bed but just wants to eat and drink water all the time. She's unhappy when she's awake and not eating. So that's her life. Sleeping, waking up and drinking a bunch of water, asking for food, eating some, going to the litter box and filling it up - or deciding NOT to use the litter box. Then back to sleep for hours.
I think I've come to a decision but not sure when. I really hoped when her time came, she would just be sleeping. I was watching her just now breathing very faintly and she didn't respond. I went over to her, and she jerked her head up and warbled at me. Then got up to look for more food. So sad.
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