It's the weekend

This is the only day I have since we go to the fair tomorrow.  I'm so looking forward to it, but I know I will be wiped out at the end of the day.  I've never been to a state fair, though, so I can't wait.

I'm up early, and it looks like a cloudy but pleasant day.  I plan to accomplish many things today.

I have things to take to the garage:  Donations, summer clothes, boxes Elise and I have looked through.  I'll probably need help with that. ---------- I did take down the fan and exchanged some summer clothes for winter.  Emily teases me about packing them away for 2 months.  I'm making progress on space and think I could possibly squeeze the car inside.

I plan to vacuum the whole apartment, including the balcony with all it's birdseed. ------------- I vacuumed birdseed first and clogged the cleaner.  It's sensitive that way.  So by the time I unplugged that, I only got to the living room, dining room and kitchen.  And the hall.

I want to walk to the library just because it's a nice walk and I have a few books due.  I reluctantly requested the new Stephen King book last week, The Outsider, but wasn't sure I would read it.  It turned out to be so good that I read all 600 pages in 3 days.  I don't care for his gruesome stuff, but he is an excellent writer, and I enjoy the way you get to know his characters and get totally involved in the mystery at hand.  This book ties in with another one he wrote.  I can't remember the name of it, but some of the same characters appear. ------------ Rainy and windy so I didn't want to do that.
 
I might return Graysen's backpack and lunchbox she left here yesterday. ------------ And I turned down chili and corn dip at the Win-Bins.

If there is any time, I will venture into that sewing room and do some clothes sorting for selling or donating and iron some clothes.  -----------  No chance.

Lofty aspirations.  I'll come back tonight and see if I did any of those things. -------- I did work pretty hard - for me and feel good about getting some things done.

I spent a couple of hours last night going back and reading some posts I made when I first started this blog and reading all the comments.  Mike would often post anonymous usually insulting comments, and it brought back so many memories of Dina and Gaby sharing recipes and traditions.  Life is so different now.  It's still good but just different.

Happy Trails, Duck Version

Gray had early release today, so she and I went to pick up Katherine.  We were just about on time, so I was puzzled about them still being on the playground.  They were all gathered together, and Ms Tricia was speaking very seriously to them.  Turns out it was a duck funeral.  One of the ducks had died of unknown (to me) causes, and they were sending it off with a round of Happy Trails. 



It's a little hard to hear over the people talking, but they sing that every day when they leave, and it was just appropriate to send Duck away with it.  Of course, it opened up a whole new batch of questions for Graysen since she has lost Jack, Griffin, and now Stella in addition to PopPop.  She was asking serious questions about Stella today walking home, and I was doing my best.  She was silent a minute and then said, "So, what name do you think you would name a new kitten."  They're both crazy to have a kitten - a non-hissing kitten - but I don't think I'm ready yet. 

We went to Fisher Park where there was a birthday party and loads of kids running around, but they had such fun.  Katherine is now going down the huge winding slides, so they did that a lot and kind of meandered around.  This is the only picture I took.

Graysen's favorite was the little zipline they have there, but it always seemed to be full.  Finally Graysen just went up to several little girls and they agreed to take turns and had a ball.  She talked Katherine into trying it.  I promised her it wouldn't go high, but I forgot how fast it goes once you're on your way.  She made it almost to the end and fell face first into the sawdust type of ground.  I figured since she was already grumpy, she would wail, but she got right up and declared she was through with the zipline and wanted to ride the merry-go-round.  They were hot, dusty, and tired, but I had promised them ice cream cones at Bartell's, so we went there.  They can spend 30 minutes just walking up and down the aisles looking at the Halloween things and the toy aisle.  They're really good about not touching anything but having lots of discussions between them.

I decided to stay on the bench outside rather than get in the car with ice cream cones.  It would also give Emily an extra 15 minutes on her own.

Lots of blurry pictures here.  I don't know what I'm doing wrong.

Graysen before she saw me after school.

She's not yet embarrassed to have her grandmother pick her up at school.

Friend and across-the-street neighbor.  I don't really know how to spell her name, but it sounds like Shreta.  She's the cutest - and sweetest.

I got my hair cut this morning and drove past some beautiful trees and bushes but hardly had a chance for pictures.  Here are a few.

 Our street and the apartment hydrangeas.  They started out white, then all shades of pink, then purples, and now almost a brown-purple.

I ran up on this when I took a different route home from North Bend.  I had heard they were building a new high school, but it looks huge.  Pretty too.

Gray Day

This is the kind of day the girls and I love - except when it keeps you from going to the park.

We walked to school in the drizzle this morning and enjoyed it immensely.  It was pretty warm, and we left early enough so Katherine could jump in every puddle we saw.  Graysen didn't have on her rain boots, but her silver ones, so she decided to stay out of puddles.

We came back to the apartment, and Katherine played while I made a grocery list, and then we did our thing.  We stopped at the library to return some books in the book drop, stopped at the ATM, then went to get gas, and finally to the grocery store.

I just love this 3-year-old when she goes grocery shopping.  She is SO excited about everything.  Balloons!!  A CHASE balloon!  Grapes!  Strawberries.  I LOVE bananas, Mimi!  They were out of Paw Patrol cookies, but she said, "Okay, so yesterday you can buy some, right?"  Most everything in the past is last night.  When she's not talking and exclaiming, she rides along with this little self-satisfied smile on her face, just taking it all in.  I hate to tell her she's going to stop liking this so much one day.

She gets this look when it's time to go down my stairs.  It's a little scary for her.

 She was wonderful today as far as her mood and happiness.  She plays with the most unlikely things.  Not the Shopkins toys or the Barbies or the playhouse and little people - but a Travel Scrabble game and a Boggle game.  These little pieces take on many roles and have names and personalities with songs to go along with them.

The kaleidoscope she calls her telescope but can't close one eye to look through it.  I told her to put her hand over one eye, so she did that and held it with the other and then said, "Meme, now you need to turn it for me so I can see the jewels."

We picked Graysen up from school, saw some blue sky and walked to the apartment, played a bit, and then we went to their house to make a Creamy Beef Bake casserole, that old standby from the 70s and 80s.  Ground beef, Kraft macaroni and cheese dinner, and cream of mushroom soup.  Not very exciting, but since Emily has an important meeting after work, it was a delight to her to have something they could eat.  I hope they like it.

Elise is at work, and I have the place to myself for hours and hours.  I hope I can stay awake to enjoy it.

Mid-Month Blahs

I knew it would take me awhile to get back not thinking about Stella constantly, and that's okay.

This is a crazy week with Emily not getting home until Monday and the girls being a little clingy after missing her.  Nothing we can't handle but just a little extra imagination needed.

Katherine had to get her 3-year checkup yesterday and shots.  She "called me" from the doctor's office afterwards, talking at the top of her voice about getting a Hello Kitty sticker and not crying for her "needles."  She admitted later she did cry but mainly just sad, Ow that hurt, and cried a little bit and then didn't cry.  And got two sparkly bandaids which she called attention to many times yesterday afternoon.  She had to go to dance, and they showed through her tights, and she said, "I don't want my teacher to see them."  I told her the teacher wouldn't mind, and the first thing she did when she got there was to announce that she got shots and had sparkly bandaids.  I looked in the door when I picked her up, and she was marching right along with the others in her tap shoes.

She cried a little when I left her this morning - not really crying but leaning against me and not wanting to go in.  Graysen did fine with her hug and 3 waves.

Emily has a fever blister.  I can't say I've ever had a real one, just a kind of warning and maybe some redness, but when she starts one, she panics, and I can see why.  She was treating it the best she could yesterday afternoon with ice and Abreva, and hydrogen peroxide (she knows the drill), and already there were maybe five blisters on her lip, including a huge white one that looked awful.  She's going to the doctor this afternoon, but there's probably not much to do but let it run its course - 2 to 3 weeks.  She still had to work, which including treating some patients today.

My state of health can't compare to hers, but yesterday, less than a week after getting the flu shot, I started a slight cough.  I recognized it from last year, and that's not a good feeling.  It starts with a cough and then a sore throat, and then all the other stuff.  Sure enough, I woke up with a sore throat and just feeling blah.  I'm not sure what to do.  Some people say start taking a lot of vitamins.  I don't know if I believe in that or not.  I took some Benadryl last night in case it's a sinus drainage thing.  If it doesn't get any worse than this, I'll be okay if I can find a little energy somewhere.

I only took one picture yesterday, and I have to laugh at this grumpy girl.  She was trying to take off her dance outfit completely backwards.   Once she got her tights halfway down, she started whining about them not coming off.   Graysen very sweetly went over to her and said, "Let me show you how to get the leotard off.  Remember I showed you how?  First this sleeve and then the other one."  That was about 30 minutes after she tried to choke her.  She CAN be sweet when she wants to.

She looks like her great-great-aunt Winifred who wore her stockings rolled around her ankles.

It's going to be a little cloudy and cool all week, but next week shows nothing but sunshine.  We're supposed to go to the Washington State Fair Sunday, and there's a 20% chance of rain and only up to 63 degrees.  I think that will be just fine.  

Good-bye Stella/Molly

It's been a hard good-bye.  I didn't know I did love that cat so much until lately when she got sick.  

She was always the epitome of the aloof kitty.  She loved to sit and purr in your lap when she was a kitten, but as she got older, she just didn't seem to need people that much.  

The day she came to live with us.

This was when we lived in Columbus, and I worked at home.  She spent most of her day with me, sleeping and playing, and aggravating me.

She was never the only cat.  We had Lili and Maddy and Raleigh when she came to live with us, and she did fine with them.  They all co-existed nicely, but the one she really bonded with was Raleigh, this old yellow cat that Elise rescued from Pet Smart.  He was a wreck, old, scruffy, and anxious with some health problems - but sweet.  Stella loved him from the start and spent all her time with him.

This is what we learned to expect from her.

Then we lost Lili and then Raleigh and Maddy, and Stella had to welcome a dog into the family.  Maddy never cared much for Darby and her bounciness, but Stella really did learn to get along with her.  Darby had a healthy respect for those claws, and they could cuddle up - but only at Stella's convenience.

When we moved to Montgomery and Mama came to live with us, she and Mama
 became best friends.  Stella had someone she could trust to stay in the same place most of the time and who would talk to her and smother her with love.  Mama didn't even like cats, but she really fell in love with Stella - but hated her name - so she renamed her Molly.

Every weekday after lunch, Mama would watch Days of our Lives and then lie down for a long nap.  Stella/Molly would head to Mama's room when she heard that music, and the two of them would stay in there for hours sleeping.

The main thing Mama regretted when she went into the nursing home was not seeing Miss Molly every day.  Her room was filled with pictures of her, and the staff had to hear endless stories of her.

When we decided to move here, we couldn't see how a dog and cat were going to fit into our plans to pick up all our belongings and move across the country, not even knowing where we were going to live.  We luckily found a good home for Darby, but I didn't even really try to find anyone for Stella.  We packed her up and headed to Washington, Mike driving the Penski truck and Stella and me following.  She did great the whole time, sleeping on a rug on the front floor or under one of the back seats with only that one adventure in New Mexico, I think, where she got stuck under the seat and wouldn't come out.

Despite not having her grass and trees and Darby, she's done well.  She never warmed up to the girls, to their constant sorrow, but she did as well as she could until the diabetes.  It's been a long hard struggle and lots of soul-searching to know the right thing to do.  Dr. Kent put up with a lot from me, wavering between, "Let's do everything we can to beat the diabetes," to "Let's just see how we can make her comfortable and let her eat food she likes," once we saw the diabetes was not going to be easy to get under control, to "We can't let her go on like this.  It's just too sad to see her this way."

Back and forth, back and forth.  Lots of guilt.  Lots of tears.  Until finally this last week when she just could not function, could not raise her head sometimes, could not use the litter box, could not bathe herself, could not get enough water and enough to eat.  At some point, I knew it was unfair to treat a beautiful proud kitty that way, and I was at peace this morning when I said good-bye to her.  Not that it was easy.  Oh, Lord, no.  It wasn't.  It will take a long time to get over it, but I feel like it was the best thing.

Dentist Day

Today was 6-month checkup for me.  The dentist's office I go to in Issaquah is the best.  Everyone treats me like their best friend.  I never WANT to go for that checkup, but if I have to have it, I'd choose to have it here.  It's where Emily and Ryan go, and my first time there, the receptionist came out and hugged me and said, "You must be Emily's Mama!"

I don't even know my hygienist's name.  I should because I see her every time, but I've forgotten.  She's more  in my generation that most others I've had, and we have a lot to talk about.  She will talk while she's in my mouth and then take a break for my answer or comment.  So sweet.  She was excited about seeing sunshine today, and I mentioned that I had left my jacket in the car and was regretting it, so she offered me a blanket and a warmed neck pillow.  I turned down the blanket, but I never refuse that warm pillow.

She found nothing at all to fuss about and brought in the new dentist to meet me.  Dr. Primrose (just call me Robby).   He looked like he was still in college, but I understand he's older than he looks.  See!  Everybody looks young to me.  Very nice though and also told me I was doing all the right things and let me go.

Nothing like that feeling of walking out of a dentist or doctor's office with no problems.

Cocoon Day

Gray skies.  Heavy rain.  Promise of maybe thunder. 

I can't think what would get me out today.  I have windows open but wrapped in a warm blanket with a really huge book to read and a good one so far.

 Coffee.  Food is lacking, but we'll figure something out. 

Stella is quiet and sleeping a lot, not acting sick or needy. 

I offered to watch the girls for Ryan some today, but he said they were just hanging out and were fine.  As much as I love them and love to be with them, I need a day of quiet.  Tomorrow and school will be here soon enough. 

Today is my old friend Debra's birthday.  She's actually quite a bit younger than me but one of my first friends.  She's at a son's house but will try to call later.  Nice to look forward to. 

Right now, I'm warm and content.

Sad Decision

Elise and I keep going back and forth about how much longer we need to let Stella go on the way she is.  The vet didn't call me back today with her test results, and when I called there around 1:00, the guy at the desk got her chart and sympathized and said he would give it to one of the other doctors since her doctor wasn't there today.  So no call all day.  Elise went to work at 3, and I was  working and forgot about the time.

I know I could call an emergency number, but I don't want it to be that way.  I really want her to get better, but I also don't want to keep experimenting on her.  With Nadine, Lili and Maddie, I knew when they were not able to live, but with Stella, it's not that clear.  I have all this guilt that maybe we should keep trying more things.  She's too weak to jump up on a bed but just wants to eat and drink water all the time.  She's unhappy when she's awake and not eating.  So that's her life.  Sleeping, waking up and drinking a bunch of water, asking for food, eating some, going to the litter box and filling it up - or deciding NOT to use the litter box.  Then back to sleep for hours. 

I think I've come to a decision but not sure when.  I really hoped when her time came, she would just be sleeping.  I was watching her just now breathing very faintly and she didn't respond.  I went over to her, and she jerked her head up and warbled at me.  Then got up to look for more food.  So sad.

Nice Fall Day

Happy fall!!

The park was lovely this afternoon after school, and we spent probably an hour there.  I met a mother with a new baby and one who looks to be barely walking.  It turns out her oldest little boy Brodie, who wasn't with her, is in Katherine's class.  Katherine denied it, of course, but I heard someone calling him after school today.  I'm still amazed that that pretty young girl had 3 kids under 3.

Another two sisters came and got on the swing, and that was quite a conversation.  One just turned 5 that day and was very eager to talk.  At some of the things she said, Graysen would raise her eyebrows at me and shrug.  She said she went to a really nice school last year and had a beautiful teacher, but now she doesn't.  I didn't ask any questions, but she volunteered, "I got kicked out of that school."  This is a barely 5-year-old with red hair and innocent green eyes.  I went along with it and said, "You got kicked out?"  I didn't ask, but she confessed, "I kept hurting people."  I said, "I'm sure you didn't hurt anyone," and she said, "Yes.  Yes. I did.  All the time."  I asked about her new school and if she was still hurting other children, and she said, "Not yet."  Good grief.  

They were there with their nanny.  I learned both her parents' name, her brother's name, and the baby her nanny had in the stroller - not sure if it was in the same family.  She and Graysen hit it off and ended up playing really hard for a while.  Katherine was a little clingy and whiny and kept complaining about the front of her neck.  I hope she's not getting a sore throat.

I ran into another nanny I had met at Steller Park two years ago.  I run into her a couple of times a year, and she was at the story time at the library yesterday.  I've lived here 2-1/2 years and finally seeing people I recognize when I'm out.  I saw Gretchen, one of Katherine's Montessori teachers, in Safeway and we talked a bit.  I like her a lot, and she said they missed Katherine so much.

I couldn't be much happier.  It's Friday night, and I'm all alone.  Elise is at work, Emily is in Colorado, and Ryan has the girls.  It's pouring rain, as hard as I can remember, and every once in a while, there will be a long rumble of thunder. Nothing too exciting but definitely thunder.

 I just took the window fan down and closed the window because I was cold.  And I now have a fire, a good book, a cup of coffee, and did I mention nobody is here?!!

I did come home this morning after school deliveries, got another cup of coffee, and did absolutely nothing all morning.  I had called the vet to get her to look at Stella and had an appointment at 12:30.  I really didn't know what to discuss with her.  The diabetes isn't being controlled, or even touched, and she stopped using the litter box this week.  Luckily, she's using the paper towels on the floor around the littler box.  We think it may be that the sides of the box are too high, and she's gotten a little weak.  I think I want an expert to make the decision for me and say that we've done all we can and maybe it's time to let her go, but it has to be mine and Elise's decision.  She has no life except sleeping and is always hungry and begging for food.  But she's so pretty and so loving when she's awake and not hungry.

So, since it wasn't clear that she has no chance of getting well, I ended up agreeing to $340 more treatment and tests.  Urine test, blood test, thyroid test.  There is talk of changing her insulin to a different, more expensive kind. I've lost hope that anything is going to bring her blood sugar down enough for her to have a normal life, but I hope I'm wrong.

As it is, our lives revolve around her.  Elise gives the shots, we both work on keeping the litter box emptied - several times a day.  She doesn't like either of us to sleep and is walking on us demanding food all night.  Elise gets home from work at 12:30 a.m. and is tired, so she usually closes her door to get some sleep.  I also need sleep, though, for staying one step ahead of the girls.  I feel sorry for her, but in the middle of the night, I've thrown a pillow at her a few times to get her to leave.  So I guess we'll regroup and work out another plan.

A few kitten pictures.

 This was when we lived in Columbus, and she worked with me - until she got bored.  Interesting to see those big old computer monitors and that we had to have reference books to find anything.  We couldn't even imagine anything like Google then, but now I don't know how I live without it.

Elise rescued her from a tree in downtown Columbus, and then when we moved to Montgomery and Mama moved in with us, she became Mama's constant companion and also became a little arrogant and vain.  She also had her name
changed to Molly because Mama didn't like the name Stella.

This picture is framed in Mama's nursing home room, and she loves it.  All the staff knows of Miss Molly and how much Mama loved her.

She hisses at the children to warn them to keep their distance.  Graysen obeys her and won't even go into a room if she has to walk by her, but Katherine is sure that if she loves her enough, she will let her pet her.   She asked me very seriously last night when I could buy a not-hissing cat for her to pet.

Loving that it's Friday night, and I'm already 

halfway through doing my cleaning and putting up things that I've put off all week.

Picture from Emily and Karen.

Another Week Done

I will be glad to rest this weekend, although I probably won't have the whole weekend off.  Emily flew to Colorado to see Karen, and won't be home until Monday.

And I'm tired already.  We had a sleepover last night with both girls, and while it was sweet and without any incident or sadness, it's work.  It's a TON of work, and that's why people have children when they're young.

I started the day a little tired yesterday, and all those plans of flu shot, Starbucks, library didn't go quite as planned.  But almost.  I went to Bartell's early because I thought I remembered having to fill out a consent form.  And they were busy, busy.  Katherine loves Bartell's.  It's a treasure place for her.  As soon as we walked in the door, she noticed the Halloween things and just went crazy.  Look, Mimi.  Look, Mimi.  Over and over.  There are just so many times I can get excited over a box of Hello Kitty candy or Paw Patrol anything.  She saw a stuffed Skye up on a display case and just stood there and gazed at it and talked and talked about it.  Again, she doesn't ask for anything.  She's just awed to be in the presence of so many toys and so much candy.

So, I finally got called back for the shot, and she went into the little room with me.  Very quiet, very observant.  She was standing right beside my left arm looking at  everything.  Just as the nurse got ready to poke me, I said, "Hold my hand now so I'll be brave."  She immediately reached for my hand, and when the needle went in, she squeezed so hard and looked at me with big eyes.  It did hurt a little this time, and I told her it did - but not bad enough to even say ouch.  I'm not sure that little experience will help her next week when she gets her immunizations or not.

I got the flu shot, but she got the candy.  We were too late to get Starbucks and get to the library on time, so we headed to North Bend.  The library there is bigger than ours, but it was full.  The baby story time was just finishing up, so I did get a parking place.  I think a lot of the baby moms stayed for the toddler story time, because it was a little chaotic at first.

The story teller was good and read four books, which Katherine really got into.  She didn't engage with the other kids.  She's used to having Graysen with her always.  Her favorite part was the yoga A for Airplane.

I kinda wanted to participate in that one.  I'm not sure if it was the shot or just being tired, but I really felt drained of energy as I sat there and watching.  

They had two dancing songs, one with scarves, which Katherine decided to join in only if she could have purple scarves for the scarf dance.  It was cute, and she really did get into it.

Crafts, not so much.  There were 20 or 30 kids gathered around a piece of plastic with a picture of an apple and an A, scissors, glue, and crayons.  I ended up bending over quite a bit helping her, and she just wasn't too interested.  She was much more excited about getting her hand stamped with an A for Apple than she was coloring an apple.

Emily told me as soon as I got to the house this morning that she had picked out her own clothes and she knew I wouldn't like them.  I just go with the flow.  If she has animal print pants (which she calls her kitty pants) and a patterned Paw Patrol shirt and feels great in them, that's fine with me.  I cringe a little bit - it's my generation and being from an area that puts more stock in dressing children - but she certainly fits in.  Two dads delivered their girls in party dresses and several had on tutus and tiaras.  It's kind of refreshing that no one pays much attention and frees me up to be lazy.

The afternoon went well, and we walked to the school to get Graysen at 3:20.  Graysen is so happy at school, and it makes us so happy.  She went to give her teacher a high-five for permission to leave, and she just hugged her spontaneously.  That's not like Gray to be that open and affectionate, and it makes my heart feel good.  She saw several of her classmates walking home and called to them and got waves and smiles - just like they hadn't just left each other!  Sweet, sweet age, this kindergarten age.

We went home to pack up and say good-bye to Mama before she left and then went to the Corn Dog Place.  They got their usual corn dogs and lemonade and loved every minute of it.  They never stopped talking to eat very much, and we ended up bringing half of it home to eat.

Rest of the night:  Finished eating.  Played.  Bath.  Played some more.  Brushed teeth.  Read five books.  Got sleeping bags all ready with blankets and 2 friends from home.  Watched a lullaby video which they couldn't stop and close their eyes to listen to.  Ended up in the big bed all snuggled up listening to the rain and finally went to sleep.  When I went to bed, it was like a pile of warm puppies to move around and find room for me.  But so precious.

Katherine all clean from her bath sorting my fall decorations - one pile of acorns, one pile of pine cones, and one pile of little pumpkins.  Whatever makes her happy.

Got up and had an hour to drink my coffee and then Graysen was up wanting yellow (scrambled) eggs and bacon.  I had to wake up Katherine finally at 7:00, and she wanted a boiled egg and peanut butter toast.  Then it was dress, get lunches and snacks and water bottles packed, dressing, find shoes, brush hair and make pony tails, brush teeth.  Katherine forgot her boots, so we had to go by the house to pick them up.  Dropped Graysen off at the playground - 3 waves and she was off - took Katherine to Rooster Valley where she grinned at me and said she was going to be a big girl, but, "I'm kinda gonna cry."  I said, "You are NOT."  And she didn't.  Just an extra knee hug and I was in the car headed for freedom.

Katherine helping make applesauce.  

Until 12:30 when Stella has to go to the vet.  Elise and I are thinking she's not going to recover from this diabetes, and we have to have a serious talk about what to do.  So sad to see her losing weight and being so tired all the time.

I just noticed thunderstorms are predicted for tomorrow and Sunday.  That's exciting.  I plan to sleep and not do much this weekend.  Next weekend is the pumpkin festival and the next is the fair, and then I go to Andalusia for a week, so I'd better rest while I can.

I love writing a little bit every day, but I do get too wordy.  I like to remember details of our lives though.  This morning on the way to school, I was praising the girls for being so helpful getting ready.  I said, "One day soon, you'll be dressing yourselves and even putting your own hair up and won't even need me."  Graysen said, "I will still want you to fix my hair when I'm a teenager."  I said, "Even when you go to college.  Do I go with you?"  She said, "Yes ......  What's college?"