I found myself getting emotional in Hobby Lobby this morning. It sounds funny, and now I can laugh, but it was a real thing then.
I went to Issaquah by myself to get only embroidery floss and buttons. I figured if it was a good drive, I would maybe go by Home Depot and anywhere else I wanted to go since I was out.
I was driving Elise's car since my tires are iffy - and no new car is falling in my lap - so I went the "back way" instead of the interstate, because it's familiar and seems safer to me. I haven't been in a while and didn't realize there was a quite a detour because of road work, but it was easy, and I eventually got there.
There were very few people there, and I went very purposefully to the embroidery section - or as purposefully as I could since I've never bought any embroidery stuff at this store, and I had to find it. I had my list on my Google Keep app of about eight different colors of floss, and I picked up the first three with no problem. Then I found the next numbered bin empty. And the next. And the next. I really came home with only black, white, and red. So disappointing.
I then went to the sewing section with a knit shirt of mine that had a missing button on the shoulder, a very distinct color of button, one that I can't just order. It needs to match the other five buttons. Naturally, there were no matching ones in Hobby Lobby's limited section. I'll probably have to replace all six buttons.
Then, since I was already out, I thought I would walk around and see if I wanted to bring anything home that would cheer me up. And that's when I got a little sad. I don't have a house any more to change the look of very much. I don't want "things" to add to the apartment even if the spring section was pretty.
And all on sale. I can see why. We didn't actually have a spring. It's now almost July, and I went out in a sweatshirt and jeans and really could have used a jacket. There were plenty of Fourth of July decorations, but I don't have any need for those. I'm sure there won't be a parade or fireworks. Normally, this time of year, I'm making or buying something festive for the girls to wear in the parade or the little outdoor celebration.
I wandered past the kids' crafts and didn't even pause. They've just had birthdays and Christmas and quarantine and I'm sure have all the crafty things they need. I feel like I'm not really enough a part of their lives to know what they might like any more.
I normally like to check out the planner and sticker items, but I'm not even using my planner now, so that seemed useless.
I was excited to see that they had outdoor pillows and checked to see if there were any I liked for my balcony rockers. I liked one pattern enough to consider it, but I didn't like them enough to pay $60 for two. Although they might have fallen into the spring sale category if I had looked closer.
Then I thought of Mike because I knew he would be following along with me (or waiting in the car) hoping I wouldn't buy a whole bunch of useless things, and missing him made me sadder.
.
I did find Elise a pot for repotting one of her plants. It was already on sale, so my 40% off coupon went against a 56-cent skein of embroidery floss. Just wow.
I considered driving to the next town to Joanne Fabrics, but that's not a familiar drive and I didn't want to do that in the rain and feeling sad, so I headed home. Emily mentioned later that Michael's is just across the interstate and asked why I didn't go there. No answer. I just forgot about them.
I could have stopped at Home Depot and looked for some herbs and plants for the garden, but I was already steeped in my gloomy mood, so I headed home.
The one bright spot I had was when I turned onto our side street, I spotted a familiar little pink coat and recognized Graysen riding her bike. Emily and her friend were walking along pushing Katherine and her friend in strollers - Haha. Those lazy 5-year-olds in strollers make me laugh. I tried to get their attention, but there was a car behind me, so I couldn't stop, but they did see me.
This day will be forgotten, this gloomy feeling of not belonging, not having a base - something that made me sad. The really overcast cool day didn't do anything to help, and neither did hearing a couple of bits of unhappy medical news from family members and friends.
Tomorrow I will get up and take a walk even though there should be more rain, and then I'll take my ailing computer over and let Ryan look at it and maybe get some masked snuggling from the girls. It's been too long since I've seen them.
I have been enjoying Elizabeth Strout's books - Olive Kitteridge and Olive, Again. I just fell in love with Olive (although she's a hard person to like!). Throughout both books, she goes into detail about many of the people in Crosby, Maine. I've just found out that she had written books about those characters earlier, so I'm downloading every audio book written by her and just escaping to another place. Right now, I'm reading Amy and Isabelle. In Olive, Again, Isabelle appears as a new friend Olive made in the assisted-living facility she has ended up in - and hating - before she met Isabelle. Now I get to read about Isabelle's life as a young person with her daughter Amy. It all sounds confusing, but it's like coming up on old friends when you hear the names mentioned. And Strout is such a good writer. If she gets a chuckle or two from me in this mood I'm in, she must be good.
Emily has also reminded me that I can take these books with me as I walk so no excuse now.
I'm hearing about people in GA and SC who are already over summer and wishing for fall, but we need to hold on a little bit. Next week, we're getting our summer (I think).
I can't get enough of these geraniums. They're the happiest things on my balcony now, and they never fail to cheer me up. If it weren't 56 and bitterly cold, I'd be out there now.
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