I promised myself I would come back "next year" after thinking up a more appropriate name and being more enthusiastic about writing. I'm back with no new name and a reluctance to try to keep up with my life, as boring as it might seem. It seems to have gotten away from me with physical stuff that doesn't seem to go away and just baffles me and all the healthcare people I see. Labs have ruled out any of the usual culprits that would cause this overwhelming fatigue and sleepiness I have. A cardiologist and a rheumatologist have refused to take the blame. I might try a neurologist next, or I might just live with what I can and stop fretting about it. I'll keep on taking the cardiac meds as prescribed because I do have atrial fibrillation, and it's clear I need to take blood thinners the rest of my life. The price of them is pretty hard on my heart every time I have to pay for them, but I'll obey. Instead of taking 1 pill a day plus some vitamins, I'm swallowing a handful of various sizes all during the day. But, again, I'll obey!
I am making more of an effort to get out more even though just walking to the mailbox makes me tired. Noreen and I are going to try tai chi starting Tuesday at the senior center in North Bend.
I think it's hilarious to watch people do it, so maybe we can bring some giggles to those who see us. I'm hoping it's inside and not out in a park, which is what I always think of when I see people doing it. I'm not sure I could move very gracefully with 3 or 4 layers on. Katherine is in a martial arts class every week, so maybe we could share our moves with each other. She has a cute little white outfit though.
Another friend Mary got me started with Bridge lately and loaned me her Bridge for Beginners book. I didn't think I would get interested, but I did and got my own book. I remembered a lot, but I'm not sure I played that seriously when I did. I've played only once with real people and did "okay" even though I was nervous, but I do get in a few games with the robot on line. I win some and lose some - and lose some very badly. The bidding strategy is so complicated, and I've just touched on that. I have so much to learn, but I hope to get involved a little more in that if people will have patience with me.
It's hard not to want to catch up with that hunk of time I've missed, but I'm not going to try to do that. Emily and Ryan and the girls have had so much fun during the past few weeks, just getting in every exciting thing they can think of and making lots of memories. I get invited to join in when I feel like it, but they know the winter is my hibernation time and don't press me. I'll go over and have the usual New Year's meal with them tomorrow. It's usually red beans and rice and turnip greens. They've gotten used to the vegan versions of everything, and it's always good. I think I'm expecting more out of 2024 than I have any year lately. I've reached the point where I'm ready to be back to a normal state of being, even though I know that physically I'm not going to do much more improving! I just want to sleep all night AT night and not be wandering around the house from 3 a.m. to 7 and sleeping again from 7 a.m. to 10. My second sleep. It just messes up everything to keep those kinds of hours, so I'm going to actively try to improve that. I'll try to stay up until 10:00 and then refuse to get up or look at my clock when I wake up at 3:30.
My sweet girls are the reason I want to record our memories, but they're doing so much without me that I can hardly keep up. They all four plus Woodrow went on a hike today and sent me a bunch of pictures. There wasn't much sunshine, but it wasn't really cold either, so they had a good time. Emily seemed shocked that she and Ryan were so tired. Time is not standing still for them either, but I wish I had all those years to live over again. It's just such a joy to have them in my life, to talk to at least one of them every day. The girls are so active after school that I see them very little, and they're pretty engrossed in their big-girl lives. I love listening to them and watching them and am just in awe at how smart and healthy and beautiful and good they are. I also have good friends and another family upstairs who has adopted me and given me two more little girls to call me Mimi. I opened the door this afternoon to Carly holding a beautiful bouquet of flowers for me - just because. Maybe I'll have some pictures to post tomorrow. I don't want to get overwhelmed and take another long vacation.
While there haven't been any signs of snow or even frost, we have had howling winds for days and days. It's kind of nice to listen to if you're safe inside, but I hate going anywhere and risk being blown down or having a limb fall on you. I didn't hear this actually fall the other night, but I'm surprised there wasn't more damage. It was also garbage day, and garbage and recycling bins were scooting up and down the streets and alleys, sometime turning over and sending their debris to get caught in the limbs. Wes, the neighbor who usually parks their second car right there was relieved to have, for some reason, parked across the street.
Bowie was insisting on going outside early, so I let him sit on the porch, knowing he would come back in when the garbage trucks started rolling. He knew something was different but not quite sure what it was. I wouldn't mind if they did a little more trimming of all those big trees so we could have more sunshine on our street.
We're not supposed to put the bins out in the alley the night before because of the risk of wind and possibly bears, but we all do. I had to worry all night that my cans would be spilled and all over the place, so about 6 a.m. I raised the garage door and looked out. There was no mess but no bins either behind the cars. There were 6 or 8 gray and blue ones near the next building, so I walked up there in my pajamas and bare feet to see if I could find my numbers. It was warmish and strangely exhilarating walking in the wind, so I pulled mine back and also got our next-door neighbors' too. Then I had second thoughts about leaving the recycling one out because of it being so light and went back out and brought that in. Things have settled down now, so maybe the wind is done for a while. I went to the mail box this morning and walked an extra block or two and got really warm. Too many layers.
That wasn't so painful, writing a few paragraphs. I hope I'll do more!
