Hard Things

I could write every day and use this title because there is never a day that there is not a hard thing to overcome - a memory, a thought, a sadness - that will stop me in my tracks.

Emily, Elise, and I are aware that Christmas was not one of Mike's favorite holidays - not the holiday itself - but the over-the-top ways we ladies tended to celebrate.  Usually buying too many gifts or new decorations or just the usual craziness.  Most of it was bluster, but we thought this holiday would not be as painful as others might be.

We were wrong.

Ryan has been sorting through all the mess in my garage, trying to make sense of all those bins and boxes I seem to want to hang onto, and he is having some sadness too when he comes across familiar things that Mike had saved.  He brought up 2 boxes labeled "Christmas" for me to go through and make decisions on, and it just got so hard.  All those things brought out of storage every year and put out for a few weeks and all carrying their own memories or stories.  All those years of little children, and bigger children, then grown-up children - then the ones we loved leaving us and new folks coming in.

This is what made me have to stop for the day.

This silly frightened-looking horse graced one coffee table or another for 40 years in whatever house we were living in at the time.  I think it joined the family in 1975 when we were living in Geneva, Alabama.  The 14-month-old and almost 3-year-old could not keep their hands off of it, and it didn't come down to stay until the next year.  The horse came unglued and was reglued many times, and it looks like there are some other parts missing.  

But it takes my breath away to think how many times this music box has played and been touched by little hands through the years.  We'll now hand it down to 2 more sets of little ones to love it.