Thursday, May 7, 2009

Guest Poster

As we leave tomorrow for Mobile for all the graduation festivities, here are Mike's ideas (threats) for Emily's graduation. Not sure if this is for the PT banquet or for the big ceremony. More effective with the whole school present, I'm sure. Here's hoping he chooses the last one. (My comments in red)

Top 10 things I am considering screaming from the audience as Emily is receiving her degree.

10. Key lime pie, anyone? Anyone? Family joke. I would explain it if I understood it.

9. Today the University of South Alabama and Physical Therapy. Tomorrow? Life College and Chiropractic!

8. Ain't you happy for her, Bryan? What? Oh. Ain't you happy for her, Ryan? Whatever. Another inside joke that Ryan's ready to see the end of - but unfortunately never will.

7. PhD = Big money = MORE raw oysters.

6. Emi-Leeee. Bump-ee. We love you. Wave to Daddy, Bumpy, Emi-Leeeeeeee, hold it right there with that guy in the funny-looking choir robe and smile for the camera. BUMP-EEEE. Emily, I am goingcommando today. Whooo-hooooo. This is unfortunately more likely than not.

5. BE MORE LIKE NATALIE, AND LESS LIKE EMILY. (I don't care,somebody needs to tell her.) Emily's friend.

4. Why aren't they playing the Upson-Lee Knights Alma Mater for her? Emily's high school. Not sure we would recognize the Alma Mater (consolidation issues).

3. That's my daughter, Emily Windham. All you people need to knowshe is descended from good blood. Good blood, I say. The blood of Scottish warriors, and Irish kings. The blood of English sea captains and the blood of Creek princesses. The blood of Dutch merchant barons. She comes from good stock, I tell you. The blood of Viking raiders courses through my daughter's veins. Along with the blood of an angry transciptionist (WHAT?) and the type AB negative blood of a (bitter and jaded) textile worker. Do the names Meriweather Lewis and Stonewall Jackson mean anything to you people? Those are the ancestors who preceded thi--hey, tell those ushers that I'm not near through yet. No, I'm notabout to be escorted out of h

2. Captain Billy always said she could jayrake them snappers. I wish Captain Billy could be there. I wonder...

1. That's our daughter Emily. She's a person of infinite beauty and worth. We are extremely proud of her, and for her. The fact that she has accomplished this today surprises none of us; but all of us, including those who have gone on before, share in feeling happy with this person who makes a habit of bringing light and life and energy and goodness to those around her. Go with God, dearest one. I second that!


  1. haha! i loved all of them. i've heard a lot of these before and feel that they're all equally appropriate - except the last. tears. thank you, mom and dad. i couldn't (wouldn't) have done this without your support. i'm so very thankful every day that i have both of you in my life. you two are the reason i am who i am and that i am where i am. i hope someday i can repay you both. love you.

  2. I was wondering what to say to you, but Emily makes me cry. God bless you all; you are sso great and kind people who deserves all the best!!

    Gaby G